Two Song Sing Off
by bremela
Summary: The New Directions are having a little friendly competiton... Which can only lead to hilarity and great songs!


**The other day, this genius idea decided to knock me out, so I had to write it! I just personally thought it was perfect! And the whole going to the ipod of wisdom thing is something I actually do.**

_Glee_

"Guys, now that we just finished a competition, we should have a little fun. But it still primes us for competing. We're going to have a friendly little competition!" Mr. Schue announced when he walked into the room, putting the words "competition/fun" on his infamous white board.

Everyone cheered, except for Artie.

"Mr. Schue, do you think I can sit this one out? I'm still recovering from a bout of strep throat, so that might not be a good idea."

"Sure Artie, if that's really what you want. You can judge with Coach Beiste and I."

"Thanks Mr. Schue."

"No big deal. But I will be pulling names out of a hat so it's totally fair whose where." And Mr. Schue started jotting down names on slips of paper.

He finished and had Kurt (grudgingly) lend him his hat.

"Drum roll please! Okay! For the first team; Sam, Kurt, Tina, Quinn, Rory, Mike, Rachel, and Sugar!"

There were a few cries of disappointment and excitement, before Mr. Schue dumped the rest of the names out.

"Team two; you're going to be Finn, Puck, Santana, Mercedes, Blaine, and Brittany. Sorry it's uneven, but I want you to have equal teams. Team one, you guys go plan in the auditorium, and team two, you get this room. The competition is next Friday, and you're performing two songs. Coach Beiste and I will be in every now and then to make sure you didn't tear each other apart. Start planning for the two song sing-off!"

Team one went onto the auditorium and sat down in a circle on the stage.

"So what should we sing? I was thinking something by Streisand, but if you want to do Broadway, we could-"Rachel started, but was cut off by Kurt.

"Rachel, as great as you are, why don't we surprise them by NOT having you lead? And I recommend we dig out our iPods of wisdom and throw them onto shuffle searching for inspiration."

Rachel thought it over before agreeing.

"That would give us the advantage of surprise! I'll start shuffling."

Everyone took out their ipod (or in Rory's case, mp3) and started listening.

There was a lot of humming and frustrated mumbles of no's, until all of a sudden Quinn cried out "I think I have one!"

"Well spill!" Tina said.

_Glee_

_In the choir room with team two…_

"Well we know that they're going to have Snobby Mc Shorty pants singing lead for a heartbreaking ballad and Kurt for some mindblower, so we have to think outside of the box, go original!" Santana encouraged.

"Well, we can't really just write up a song or two, so we just have to be unique." Mercedes said.

"I have an idea."

Everyone looked at Blaine.

"I think we should have Puck sing lead for a song. I mean, you never really get any solos."

"Thanks. I personally say he's right." Puck said.

"Okay, I think that's a good idea, Blaine. But what song?" Finn asked.

Everyone thought hard, before Mercedes shot up her hands and yelled "I've got it!"

"What?" everyone asked in unison.

"Well, I'm always hanging out with Kurt, and he loves the show Wicked, so we've listened to the soundtrack a lot. Anyway, there's this one song, _Dancing through Life_ which is all about, well, dancing through life. I think Puck would be perfect, and he has the range.

"Mercedes that would be amazing!" Finn cried, as he had had to sit through the very song in Kurt's car a countless amount of times, and Mercedes was right.

"But what about the second song?" Santana asked.

"I actually think I have an idea, and I guarantee the only one here to ever hear the song is Kurt, but he would probably not expect it." Blaine said.

"I was in these two productions made by my friends and I, called A Very Potter Musical and A Very Potter Sequel. Anyway, I wrote some of the music so I don't have to ask to use it. But there's this one song in the sequel called _No Way_, and it doesn't have any Harry Potter themed words, and I think it would be cool. I can play it for you if you want." He said, pulling his ipod out of his pocket.

He put it on, and everyone agreed. It was an awesome song.

_Glee_

_In the auditorium with team one…_

"What if Rory and Mike sit out for a number, and we do _Beauty School Dropout _from _Grease, _with Sam as the Teen Angel, Kurt, Tina, and I as the backups, and Sugar as Frenchie?

Everyone looked at each other, but then they started freaking out, because it would be perfect.

Then they started the debacle of the second song.

"Well what if we keep in tune with _Grease _and do a group number?" Rory suggested. It was one of his favorite American movies.

"Well what is there?"

They all thought the numbers over before Sugar finally got it.

"What about the Broadway version of _Shaking at the High School Hop?" _

"Okay, how did I not think of that? This is going to be great!" Kurt cried, and they started going over lines.

_Glee_

"Alright guys! Are you all ready for the New Directions two song sing off?"" Mr. Schuester cried happily form his director's table with Artie and Coach Beiste.

"We flipped a coin and team two will do there first number, team one will then do their two, and team two will do their last one. So take it away team "Starkid 2". Where'd you get the name from guys?" Mr. Schuester asked.

From backstage Blaine shouted "It's a bit of a long story!" and the lights were dimmed.

They came out on stage and stood in position, and the music started.

"Oh my god, they're doing _Dancing through Life" _whispered as Puck started singing.

_The trouble with schools is, they always try to teach the wrong lessons,_

_Believe me, I've been kicked out of enough of them to know,_

_They want you to become less callow, less shallow,_

_But I say why you might stress it,_

_Stop studying strife,_

_And learn to live, the unexamined,_

_Life…_

_Dancing through life, skimming the surface, gliding where turf is smooth,_

_Life's more painless, for the brainless,_

_Whiffing to hard, when it's so soothing,_

_Dancing through life, no need to tough it,_

_When you can bluff it off as I do, _

_Nothing Matters, when knowing nothing matters, it's just life, so keep dancing through!_

They ran through the song effortlessly, dancing in synch, and basically being perfect.

When the finished, Kurt groaned.

"How are we supposed to follow up with that?"

"With humor. Now let's go get our costumes on."

As the two teams switched, Kurt whispered to Blaine, "The Starteens? Really?"

Blaine just shrugged.

Ten minutes later, team two was quite confused at the large white pyramid with three salon chairs facing backwards and a 60's booth also facing backwards.

"What the hell are they doing? I'm usually good with Broadway details, and knowing Kurt and Rachel, that's what they're doing. Really, I'm totally stumped.

Suddenly the stage went black and they heard footsteps and the sound of people settling into chairs.

"Up next are the "Second Generation Greasers, or SGG!" Mr. Schuester announced, and they heard a piano and harp.

"No way are they doing… oh my god."

Just then, spotlights showed on the three chairs as they spun around to show Kurt, Tina, Rachel, and Quinn, two on each side, with hair done up in curlers and beauty salon smocks.

"Oh. My. Gosh." Was basically everyone's response when Sam appeared at the top in a white suit and angel wings.

"_Your story's sad to tell,_

_A teenage mandrel,_

_The most mixed up, non-delinquent, on the block,_

_What's left of your career now,_

_Can't even get a trade in, on her smock,_

The girls and Kurt sang there "la la la" back ups, and stepped down to where Sam was singing to Sugar on the sixties chair and circled them.

_Beauty School Drop out, no graduation day for you,_

_Beauty School Drop outs, missed your midterms and flunked shampoo,_

_Well at least you could have taken time, to was and clean your clothes up,_

_After paying all that dough to have the doctor fix your nose up!_

_Baby, get moving,_

_Why keep your feeble hopes alive?_

_What are you proving? You've got the dream but not the drive!_

_If you go for your diploma, you can join a steno pool,_

_Turn in your teasing come and go back to high school!_

_Beauty School Drop Out, hanging around the corner store,_

_Beauty School drop out, it's about time you knew the score!_

_Well they couldn't teach you anything, you think you're such a looker,_

_But no customer would go to her unless she was a hooker!_

_Baby don't sweat it, you're not cut out to hold a job,_

_Better forget it, who wants their hair done by a slob?_

The girls, Kurt, and Sam made their way back up the pyramid.

_Guess there's no way to get through to you, no matter who may try!_

_Might as well go back to that Malt shop in the sky!_

_The sky! Ooh ee ooh!_

Everyone burst into applause and burst out laughing at the same time.

The group then went backstage and did a quick costume change into classic sixties clothes.

They re-emerged and the music started, and everyone (including Rory and Mike) started dancing and singing.

_Honky Tonk baby get on the floor, the cats are calling, shouting for more,_

_My baby likes to rock, my baby likes to roll,_

_My baby does the chicken and she toss toss tossed, _

_Now shake, shake, shake, and shake it! Oh shake, shake, shake it, come on baby get on the floor and be shaking at the high school hop!_

They danced and sang to the music, twirling around and jumping, until the song came to a close.

Everyone clapped and cheered, because it was pretty great.

"Starkid 2" then ran to get their costumes on, and were on stage once again.

They were all in black jeans, white shirts, and wearing multicolored sunglasses.

The beginning started, Kurt immediately recognized the song.

_My mind is racing but my heart it beats faster, _

_I'm in control commander and master,_

_Lady fate creating disaster,_

_But she ain't the boss of me,_

_Uh-uh._

_Head on collision, a catastrophic set-back,_

_Makes you either want to get lost or get back, I chose the latter,_

_Let's not forget that we hold the cards this time,_

_There's no need to bitch or whine!_

_There's no way, I'm gonna take another upset,_

_No way I'm gonna settle with the boss, no way, I'm gonna sit around and watch, there's no, no way,_

_There's no way, you're gonna find me in the back round, no damn way you're gonna see me satisfied,_

_No way, there ever gonna make us back down,_

_No, no way,_

Then Mercedes came in.

_Home field advantage thee, upper hand is ours, so the game is on,_

Then everyone came in.

_The clock ticks, but we've got our tricks, we fuss we get fixed, what's wrong?_

Once again it flipped back to Blaine,

_Let's wake up and go guys, take out the bad guys, break out some mad eyes, yeah!_

Once again, everyone else was in union.

_We'll take it all together, we're stronger and we're better, if you have a problem, what ever, _

_There's no way, we'll have to leave it up to chance now, There's no damn way we're gonna go without a fight, _

_There's no way you're gonna see us on our asses, there's no, no, way._

_There's no way, we're waiting for tomorrow, no, no, way,_

_Leave right now if you think this is real, _

_Today, not waiting for tomorrow,_

_No, no way, there's no way, no, no, way, there's no way!_

As they finished, they all ran from the back to the front of the stage and slid on their knees to the front_._

Everyone cheered and clapped once again, and " The Starteens" met the "Second Generation Greasers" in the seats while the judges deliberated.

"Okay, this is going to be really tough. The Starteens had cool songs, and one of them was an original. But The Second Generation Greasers were hilarious and charismatic, with impressive dancing." Artie whispered to Mr. Schue and Beiste.

"I know. And they both had at least one song with un-expected leads, plus even less expected songs." Beiste commented.

"I know. And they were both flawless. But… I'm going to have to go with the Second Generation Greasers." Mr. Schuester decided.

"Well, I'm going for the Starteens." Beiste said.

"Well… "

And with that, it was decided.

"This was the closest call I've ever seen, but we decided. After much deliberation, the winners are… the Second Generation Greasers!" Mr. Schuester cried.

There was much cheering and groans, but Artie wheeled down and gave the winners their dinner for two gift certificates for Breadstix.

"But remember, you all did great. The only thing that really pushed us over were the really great hair and make up for Beauty School Drop Out."

"Well, I'm still proud. I think we did great, right guys?" Blaine said.

They grudgingly agreed, but all suspected Blaine was only happy because he was probably going to have the other half of Kurt's dinner for two.

_Glee_

**Okay, a few things. I do not believe Glee should do Starkid, but I really like the song. And the whole white pyramid thing for Beauty School Drop Out is in the movie, I remember something like that.**


End file.
